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In the cases where things become slightly ambiguous and the process of finding a solution takes some time, there definitely will be a psychological burden of sorts.
You spot a pattern, try out several solutions, wait and give it time, and then come to a moment when you wonder if it is just a passing phase or if another type of assistance is needed.
Unfortunately, too many people tend to stay in this phase for much longer than they should, for a variety of reasons. It does not mean that people ignore their problem; quite on the contrary, they are concerned about their situation, but cannot understand what should have been done by now.
When Is It Time for Input from Outside?
The difference between a passing phase and a persistent problem lies in its ability to recur despite adjustments and attempts to deal with it differently. Children often go through periods when they are experiencing challenges. Big feelings in early childhood, boundary issues in primary school and more unpredictable behaviour in adolescence – all this is typical and should be expected.
A phase will most likely resolve once a child matures a bit or when particular conditions stabilise. It will not last forever, although it may seem quite overwhelming at the moment. Unlike phases, patterns repeat themselves. They manifest themselves in a particular way, and even if you change the surrounding factors, it will continue showing up regularly. In addition, patterns often appear both at home and school or anywhere else.
It can be useful to discuss such matters with a positive behaviour support practitioner. The approach is based on analysing what happens in particular circumstances, what leads to specific behaviour and what follows after the incident. It gives a broader view of things than a trial-and-error process in ordinary day-to-day interactions.
What Behaviour Is Often Communicating
The behaviour of children usually has reasons for that, even when they are unclear for adults.
In particular, it can be a sign that a child experiences difficulties with managing his emotions and adjusting to different environments. A child who struggles every morning can be feeling transition overload in the morning hours. When he reacts strongly upon any interruption, it means he has problems with shifting attention and coping with change.
These instances are examples of what can happen, but there is no need to treat behaviour as intentional communication. However, it is most often related to internal factors and to particular environmental triggers.
Understanding it in terms of the experience a child has usually helped in developing adequate strategies to overcome difficulties.
When It May Be the Time for Support
It is hard to provide exact indicators when it becomes obvious that it is high time to discuss the matter with someone professionally qualified.
However, here are some situations where it can be beneficial to get some input:
- The behaviour happens in multiple locations.
- It affects the safety of the child or other people.
- Routines, education or relationships are constantly disrupted by the problem.
- Methods used so far have failed to produce considerable change.
- It makes the whole situation increasingly burdensome for the family.
These points do not say that something is done wrong. They are simply signs that the issue requires a more professional approach since it cannot be dealt with casually anymore.
What a Structured Approach Usually Looks Like
Behavioural support typically starts with analysing a situation and understanding why particular behaviours happen. It does not begin with implementing immediate solutions but rather with examining patterns.
First, a practitioner will spend some time collecting information regarding when certain behaviours appear, what tends to trigger them and what happens afterwards. It allows forming a better idea of what is happening and possible factors that lead to undesirable outcomes.
Afterwards, a practitioner will work on concrete measures. It can involve modifying the environment or expectations, as well as teaching certain skills to cope better with particular situations in the future.
Each case is unique, so the approach is individualised based on each child and his family.
Why Delaying Sometimes Makes Matters Worse
Delaying is quite common among families since they want to be sure that something is not temporary but rather an ongoing problem.
Indeed, sometimes the situation resolves with time. Other times the behaviour pattern becomes more apparent as a result of regular repetition. This does not mean that it will be harder to modify at that point. It will require effort, but the delay in addressing the problem does not mean that everything gets hopeless.
On the contrary, receiving professional help early will ensure that there will be fewer obstacles to face.
How to Understand When It Is Time
Often parents understand that there is a problem and they would like to know more about it. But they struggle to decide if this is the case.
It is important to recognise that seeking professional support can be done informally at first by having a discussion with a positive behaviour support practitioner. It does not necessarily mean that drastic changes are going to be implemented in order to improve the situation.
Instead, it will be an attempt to understand what is happening and what measures can be taken to achieve more stable and efficient results.
Trusting What You’re Observing
Often parents are the first ones to detect the issue since they know their children best. However, this does not mean that there should be some trial-and-error methods used without further ado. Sometimes it is important to receive an external perspective on the situation.
Consulting a positive behaviour support practitioner in such a case can help to better understand the root cause of the problem and what steps should be undertaken in order to address it.
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