What It’s Really Like Going Through IVF

My son was conceived through IVF 11 years ago. I’m sharing my story of what it’s really like to go through IVF because I spent a lot of time reading other people’s stories before and during my experience.

My favorite stories were the ones with happy endings! And while mine does end happy, it was quite the rollercoaster to get there.

For many people, in vitro fertilization (IVF) is far more than a medical procedure. It’s a journey filled with hope, uncertainty, excitement, disappointment, and resilience.

While success stories often make headlines, the day-to-day reality of IVF is rarely discussed. Behind every appointment, injection, and phone call is someone navigating both physical and emotional challenges while holding onto the possibility of growing their family.

The Decision to Begin IVF

Choosing IVF is rarely an easy decision. It took us one miscarriage and then seven years of trying off and on to get there.

After being diagnosed with endometriosis, having surgery to remove that, then going through several rounds of timed intercourse, using Clomid, and many failed IUI’s, we had nowhere else to go.

We made the switch to a new fertility doctor who was much more upfront about our possibility of conceiving. While the previous doctor had us trying everything possible, the new doctor said that with my low ovarian reserve, we were running out of time and out of eggs. He suggested IVF right away, if we wanted to use my own eggs rather than IVF with egg donation.

Starting IVF often brings a mix of relief and anxiety. Relief comes from finally having a treatment plan, while anxiety stems from the unknowns ahead. Every cycle is different, and no clinic can guarantee success, but for the first time in a while, we were optimistic.

The Appointments Quickly Become Part of Life

Going through IVF consumes your life. Blood tests, ultrasounds, consultations, and medication adjustments can mean visiting the fertility clinic multiple times each week. Daily schedules revolve around appointment times and medication windows.

It’s also a little isolating, because you are going through so much and might not want to share it with the world, because it hurts too much when it doesn’t work.

When I first got pregnant (naturally), I was so excited, I told everybody right away, and signed up for every free baby sample I could. When it all ended just seven weeks later, people were still reaching out to congratulate me.

And as the baby food and diaper samples showed up in my mailbox weeks later, every one was a reminder that I was no longer pregnant.

So, as we went through the IVF procedure, I didn’t tell very many people outside my family.

Getting Used to Injections

Shots are a big part of going through IVF. Fertility medications stimulate the ovaries to produce multiple eggs, and timing matters. Some medications must be taken at the exact same time every day.

At one point, I was taking three shots in the stomach every evening. I was too squeamish to give them to myself, so I had my husband do it. I felt like a pincushion, and my stomach was covered in bruises and lumps.

The Physical Side of IVF

Every person’s experience is different, but IVF medications can produce a variety of side effects. Bloating is one of the most common complaints as the ovaries respond to stimulation. Fatigue, headaches, mood changes, breast tenderness, and abdominal discomfort may also occur.

After the egg retrieval procedure, temporary cramping and bloating are common while the body recovers. Most people resume normal activities within a few days, although recovery varies.

After being pumped full of fertility drugs, I only managed to make one follicle and one egg. They said they usually like to get several eggs and would normally cancel the procedure, but that I probably didn’t have a good chance of getting more than that. So we decided to move forward with the egg retrieval.

After the Egg Retrieval

The egg was successfully retrieved and one hurdle cleared, but there were still many more to go. The egg needed to be fertilized.

We were excited to find out that it fertilized naturally, and we did not need the ICSI procedure, where they inject the sperm directly into the egg. That saved us a little bit of money in this incredibly expensive journey.

Once the egg fertilized, we waited to hear if it would start to divide cells and become a blastocyst. Once the blastocyst reached three days old, it would be time for implantation.

Below is our egg at three days old. This is a baby photo most parents never get to see!

Implantation Day

On implantation day, they gave me five Valium to take. Five! They said it would help relax my uterus.

You would think that might have made me feel a little relaxed or woozy, but I was so anxious that I barely felt the effects.

My husband was in the room, along with the doctor and the embryologist. He had me confirm that the petri dish with our little egg had the correct name on it.

I remember joking that I hadn’t expected this many people in the room when I pregnant, lol.

The implantation procedure went pretty fast, and after that the only thing to do was go home and wait. They caution you not to start testing early, but of course I was peeing on sticks as soon as possible.

Looking Beyond the Outcome

You already know how my story ends, since I started it by mentioning my son. We did have a successful IVF, even though we only had one egg. Many other people have different stories and different endings.

Whether IVF results in pregnancy, requires additional cycles, or ultimately leads you down another path to parenthood, the experience leaves a lasting impact.

While every IVF story is unique, one thing remains true: behind every treatment cycle is a person hoping for the chance to build a family. Understanding what the journey is really like helps create greater empathy for the millions of individuals and couples navigating fertility treatment each year.

If you are about to embark on your own IVF journey, or are already going through, I wish you the best of luck creating your own little miracle through love and science.