What is the Very Demure, Very Mindful Trend?

If you use social media, you can’t avoid the “Very demure, very mindful” videos. In fact, it’s so everywhere now that I even saw it on a segment of Entertainment Tonight!

So, what the demure and mindful trend and where did it start?

The phrase “very demure, very mindful” shot to fame on TikTok in early August 2024, with a video from trans influencer Jools Lebron (@joolieannie) explaining “How to be demure at work,” which quickly went viral and spread to all the social media platforms.

In her signature videos, she’d perform simple acts—like fixing her makeup or boarding a plane—while delivering the lines, “Very demure, very mindful.”

What Does it Mean to be Demure?

“Demure” is an adjective used to describe someone who is modest or reserved in their behavior or appearance.

It often refers to a quiet elegance or subtle charm, particularly in women, and is frequently used to describe clothing or demeanor that is understated and tasteful rather than bold or attention-seeking.

For example, a person might wear a demure dress to a formal event—something simple and elegant, not flashy. While the word traditionally conveys gentleness and restraint, it’s also taken on new layers in modern usage.

In recent cultural trends, “demure” is sometimes used playfully or ironically, especially online, to highlight a composed attitude or aesthetic that may, in fact, be deliberately exaggerated for effect.

I hopped on this trend myself, going for the ironic angle with a video of an Elvira cosplay, as Elvira is about as far as demure as you can get:

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A post shared by Candy Keane (@sewgeekmama)

Very Demure…or Not

Tons of people have hopped on this trend, and it seems some get it, and some do not. I’ve seen it used in videos where it doesn’t work, even ironically.

But it’s been about a year since I posted my video, and it appears this trend has some staying power as more people discover the aesthetic of being “Very demure, very mindful.”